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Archive for July 30th, 2009

A friend recently emailed me a  list of 29 humorous  oxymorons. Number 20 caught my eye–“Why is bra singular and panties plural?” Except for Victoria’s Secret, which, come to think of it, should be added to that list, you no longer hear much about bras and panties. Today it’s all about the “shapewear.”

There’s shapewear to cover the top half, shapewear to cover the bottom half and shapewear for every problem area in-between. Need help with less than svelte arms? No problem. There’s  a shapewear solution that covers the upper arms as well as the torso. With shapewear you can be whipped into shape from tip to toe, knees or mid-thigh. There’s even shapewear with soothing aloe incorporated around the heavy-duty, elastic-grippered edges–presumably so your skin won’t feel the effects of loss of circulation and the onset of gangrene.

It’s challenging to determine exactly which shapewear system goes with what outfit. There ought to be a manual. However, the fashion industry has come to the rescue, creating clothing lines with built-in shapewear. That means no more quessing and no need for lingerie–or should that be shapewear–drawers. Who knew shapewear could also provide a solution for freeing up additional drawer space!

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While I live not far from downtown Indy, our backyard appears to be a breeding ground for exotic creatures of various sizes, shapes and denominations. In the few years I’ve lived here, I’ve been fortunate enough to experience many Kodak moments with my furry friends. I’ve enjoyed the antics of 13 raccoons traipsing across the lawn at one time, dancing a ballet reminiscent of the hippos in Fantasia. I’ve startled a coyote who was stretched out in the sun trying to get some shut-eye in a safe environment. I’ve stared down a hedge hog at the edge of the deck–fortunately, he retreated.  I’ve seen opossums the size of large dogs shimmy around in the moonlight looking for a midnight snack. And I’ve been privy to the mating dance of the rabbits–a rare and beautiful sight to see.

I love it when they bring their babies. Baby raccoons are adorable and destructive all at the same time. My outdoor cats adjust to the grown raccoons fairly well–they give them some space in return for not being chased down and mauled. Each side seems to know the rules. The kids, on the other hand, don’t play by the rules. I’ve had to play moderator and referee more times than I can count.

All in all, my backyard has made much better entertainment fare than the network and cable stations combined. In two years or so, however, this will all be gone. Light rail is going to inhabit the old fair train that is within spitting distance of our backyard. Gone will be the peaceful solitude I cherish, and many of my little furry friends will move on. It’s a shame that as we “improve” our culture, we destroy nature in the wild, the way it should be. Meanwhile I’ll enjoy my furry friends while I can.

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